Two unique humanist weddings, one gorgeous couple.

2 hours ago

9 min read

When planning how they wanted to get married, Siobán and Robbie realised that they wanted an intimate wedding and a big celebration. Through some careful and intentional decision making, they decided to have both! A year later, they took time to reflect on their celebrations and shared how they arrived at this decision creating two distinctly different, yet completely authentic humanist wedding ceremonies.

Magilligan Wedding Photographer: The Harpers Wedding Photography

Why did you choose to have a Humanist wedding ceremony?

It felt like a way of celebrating our marriage that actually reflected who we are, rather than asking us to fit into something that didn't.

A religious wedding was never going to be right for us, and although we considered a simple civil ceremony, Humanism gave us something a civil ceremony couldn't: the freedom to make the ceremony genuinely ours.

We could focus on our relationship, our values, the people we love and the things that have shaped us.

What does Humanism mean to you?

Humanism felt very natural to both of us. We're both atheists, but that doesn't mean we don't have a strong sense of morality, compassion or wonder. We don't know what comes after this life, but what we do know is that we're here now, together, and we should do what we can to make this life better for ourselves, each other and the world around us.

For us, Humanism is about empathy, kindness, consideration and taking responsibility for how we treat other people. We don't believe you need religion to have those values or to feel a sense of social responsibility.

Magilligan Wedding Photographer: The Harpers Wedding Photography

Why did you choose to have two separate celebrations?

The two celebrations came from us wanting two slightly different things.

Robbie wanted the big celebration: all our friends and family together, a huge party and an opportunity to show everyone how much they mean to us. Siobán had always imagined something much smaller and more intimate - and was initially quite happy with the idea of eloping!

But there was one place Siobán couldn't let go of: her aunt and uncle's home in Magilligan.

Magilligan Wedding Photographer: The Harpers Wedding Photography

The house has been in her family for generations and was originally a two-room cottage. Siobán spent much of her childhood there, and it's also where her mum's ashes are scattered. It's on the side of the mountain overlooking the Atlantic - a place that somehow embodies both of us perfectly, because Robbie loves the mountains and Siobán loves the sea. It represented home, family, childhood, Ireland and our connection to the land.

We realised we didn't actually have to choose between the intimate wedding Siobán wanted and the big celebration Robbie wanted.

So we had both.

A small, legal ceremony in Magilligan surrounded by our closest family and friends, followed a few days later by a huge celebration at Titanic Hotel Belfast with everyone we loved.

Looking back, we genuinely can't imagine having done it any other way.

Magilligan Wedding Photographer: The Harpers Wedding Photography

Tell us about your legal celebration?

Magilligan was deliberately calm, relaxed and homely. We wanted it to feel less like a traditional wedding and more like a very special family gathering.

Everyone arrived around lunchtime, we shared food made by family, helped ourselves to drinks and spent time together before the ceremony.

The ceremony itself was simple and completely focused on us. We wrote our own vows, with Jean's help refining them, and chose poems that felt reflective of our relationship. Robbie even surprised Siobán by reading part of his vows in Irish, which was a very special touch.

That Still and Settled Place by Edward Monkton was read in Irish by Jean (the woman has many talents), and we also had The Wedding Poem by Whitney Hanson. Both captured something about our relationship that felt very true to us - calm, gentle, reassuring - whilst also being rooted in nature - reflecting our surroundings during the ceremony.

We had acoustic music from a local musician, flowers that had been used at a cousin's wedding earlier that year, and a photographer who had photographed another cousin's proposal. Even those details felt connected to our family.

Family were at the heart of the ceremony. Our nieces carried the rings, cousins read poems, Siobán's uncle and Robbie's dad were our signatories, and Robbie's mum and Siobán's auntie walked us down the aisle.

Having both of us walked down the aisle was also a lovely full-circle moment for Siobán because she'd loved the idea since seeing Monica and Chandler both being walked down the aisle on Friends - an episode she'd actually first watched in that very house!

Afterwards, we had champagne, choc ices and an entirely unplanned boogie on the lawn before heading off for dinner at a local restaurant. It was relaxed, joyful and completely us.

Magilligan Wedding Photographer: The Harpers Wedding Photography

And the second celebration?

Titanic was almost the complete opposite - and that was exactly what we wanted.

If Magilligan was about us, Titanic was about everyone else, who had helped make us who we are.

We wanted this ceremony to be more celebratory and inclusive. We wanted to tell our story but also acknowledge the people who had shaped our individual lives and our relationship. We wanted to celebrate love in all its forms, not just romantic love.

Titanic Hotel Photographer: Danny Morton Photography

We deliberately faced our guests during the ceremony rather than having our backs to them. Robbie was initially worried this might make him more nervous, but it ended up being one of our favourite decisions. We could see everyone's faces, catch someone's eye, smile and share those little moments with the people we loved.

We walked in together to cheers and jubilation, and the whole ceremony felt joyful from the very beginning.

Titanic Hotel Photographer: Danny Morton Photography

We had readings including You Are the Bubbles by Rachel Bright, which felt perfect because it celebrates all kinds of love, and another Edward Monkton piece which was funny, sweet and just a little bit silly - very us.

Tell me one stand out memory from each ceremony?

Siobán:

At Magilligan, it's the feeling I remember most. During the ceremony, just sitting there in the sunshine with a gentle breeze, taking everything in and feeling incredibly calm, content and just very lucky in that moment.

At Titanic, it's walking in together to all the cheers and being able to see everyone's faces. We'd deliberately chosen to face our guests, and I loved being able to look around, catch people's eyes and share a smile with the people we love.

Magilligan Wedding Photographer: The Harpers Wedding Photography

Robbie:

At Magilligan, it was seeing everyone arrive and settle into the garden and realising that the day we'd talked about for so long was actually happening. Having our closest people there, in such a beautiful setting, made it feel incredibly special.

At Titanic, it was the handfasting. It was amazing to see people we love, from all different parts of our lives, actively contributing to the ceremony rather than simply watching it.

Titanic Hotel Photographer: Danny Morton Photography

You had a pretty special handfasting ritual. Tell us about it?

Because we'd already legally married and exchanged rings at Magilligan, we wanted a different way to symbolise our union at Titanic.

Jean suggested a seven-strand handfasting, and we loved the idea immediately.

We chose seven colours to represent qualities and values that matter to us and then chose people from different parts of our lives to represent them. Friends, cousins, nieces and nephews all became part of the ritual.

We wrote something about each person, which Jean read as they brought their ribbon forward. So, it wasn't simply a beautiful visual moment - it was a way of saying these are the people and qualities that have helped make us who we are.

And then there was the binding cord.

Titanic Hotel Photographer: Danny Morton Photography

We'd become slightly obsessed with one we'd seen online, so we showed it to Jean to determine if she could recreate it. Her immediate response was essentially, "Absolutely not!"

Naturally, she then went away and recreated it beautifully.

It became one of our favourite keepsakes from the day.

How did you incorporate friends and family meaningfully?

That was one of the most important things to us, and having two ceremonies allowed us to do it in different ways.

Magilligan was very much a family affair. Our nieces carried the rings, cousins recited poetry and older generations were involved in the ceremony. We also lit a candle in memory of Siobán's mum and those who couldn't be there, which felt particularly poignant.

At Titanic, we were able to broaden that out and bring our friends into the heart of the ceremony too. The handfasting involved people from all different parts of our lives, while friends and family also took part in readings and other elements of the ceremony.

We wanted everyone to feel that they weren't simply guests watching us get married. They were part of the story.

Titanic Hotel Photographer: Danny Morton Photography

How did you choose your suppliers?

A lot of our suppliers came through recommendations, family connections, Jean or simply finding people whose work we loved.

But the biggest thing for us was always how people felt.

Our photographer, makeup artist and other suppliers were going to be around us during some incredibly personal moments, so we wanted people who were talented but also relaxed, warm and fun.

That's why people like Danny, Emily and Sinead worked so well for us. They were incredibly talented, but also chilled, fun and easy to be around. It felt like having friends there rather than having a team of strangers working around us.

Jean felt exactly like this too. She also has such a wealth of knowledge and genuinely champions the people she recommends. We found so many wonderful suppliers through her, as well as using people connected to our family.

For us, choosing suppliers was a bit like choosing a partner: when you know, you know.

Titanic Hotel Photographer: Danny Morton Photography

Tell us one thing you love most about each other?

Siobán about Robbie:

His selflessness. He gives so much of himself without making a fuss about it, and he has always embraced every part of me without ever making me feel like I need to be anything other than myself. After nearly a decade together, I feel incredibly proud that I get to call him my life partner.

Magilligan Wedding Photographer: The Harpers Wedding Photography

Robbie about Siobán:

Her empathy. She cares about everyone and everything so deeply, and she helps me consider things from other people's perspectives. I'm a better person because of her.

Magilligan Wedding Photographer: The Harpers Wedding Photography

One piece of advice for couples planning their wedding?

Have fun with it - and remember that it is actually your wedding.

There are so many expectations about what a wedding should look like and how it should happen, but you don't have to follow any of them if they don't feel right for you.

For us, asking ourselves, "How do we want this to feel?" and "How do we want our guests to feel?" helped us make almost every decision.

You can have two ceremonies. You can face your guests. You can both be walked down the aisle. You can walk down together. You can have choc ices and an impromptu dance on the lawn. You can make your own traditions.

And if you can, find someone like Jean who will take all your ideas, memories and mad plans, understand what you're really trying to create, and help you turn them into something that feels completely and unmistakably yours.

Titanic Hotel Photographer: Danny Morton Photography

Our guests loved the ceremonies so much as well. On the day, and since, we've had so many of our family and friends mention to us how perfect, unique and thoughtful the ceremonies were. They truly loved them, and many got emotional throughout (in a wonderful way)! They were their favourite parts of the day, which is something I think you don't often hear from weddings, which is lovely for us, as they're some of our favourite parts too.

Jean's perspective:

Siobán got in touch with me in April 2024 and with her penchant for 'short story, long' approach I immediately felt a kindred connection and wanted to work with her!

The enquiry, ''We are Siobán (a Belfast gal) and Robbie (an English chap), currently living in the south of England. We've been together almost 8 years, and got engaged during the height of the pandemic in 2020. We both have large families, and are planning on a 3 day celebration in Belfast over the bank holiday weekend in August 2025....We found you on Insta a few years ago and started following along. I've loved seeing your enthusiasm and dedication to creating ceremonies over that time, and you are the reason we did more reading and decided a humanist ceremony was for us. We are still very much in the early stages of planning, but we hope to incorporate a lot of fun, joy and core memories into our day and were hoping you would have availability. Sadly, my mum passed away many years ago, and we are also hoping to do a small elopement style ceremony at the north coast earlier in the month, no exact date planned in. Her ashes are scattered at the top of Benivenagh in Magilligan, and we have a family home on the mountain, where we would like to hold a small family ceremony as this would mean a lot to me. If there's any possibility you could do both or either ceremony (we can be flexible on the elopement date) we would be thrilled.'

Instantly, I was already thinking about ideas to ensure both ceremonies are super special yet with different intentions, tones and sentiments. Before I even replied I was all in!

Thank you darlings for sharing your story, your family and your day with me - TWICE!

JBQ

xxx